Over Study?
Sometimes there is too much study and not enough action. Jumping to action too soon will bite you. The question is, how big is the bite?
If the bite is non fatal it might be a better play. A better play because it provides feedback that ‘study’ will not give you. Over focusing on not getting bit will keep you stuck. There is nothing wrong with hedging but standing still can make it worse because you don’t know what you don’t know.
If you spend too much time studying what might be rustling in the bush behind you...you’ll likely get eaten.
Internal “Yes Man”
Bias can bite. It is especially ferocious when making decisions. If you are a leader with grey hair it can be extra problematic because you’ve likely burned some pet hueretics into your hard drive.
Your internal bias can thwart your ability to ask the right questions. The wrong ones will mislead you and put you on a less optimal path.
The facts can be hidden by your own bias. Your personal perspective can make you way too certain and cause you to miss alternative solutions.
Avoid acquiessing to your internal “yes man”.
The label on the box is hard to read from the inside.
You Happy?
It seems universally true that we all seek to be happy. The pain comes when we try to make it stay.
Happiness comes and goes…grip it too tight and it slips away.
Deep down inside we know the door will close but we try to make it last forever.
Happiness is elusive by divine design. It gives us little snapshots into Heaven. The door cracks…we see it, we feel it, and we never want it to end.
The better play is to increase the surface area for happiness to land, enjoy it, then allow it to take off again. Things will go haywire if you interfere.
There is nothing wrong with chasing happiness just as long as you know it will never satisfy. That’s reserved for eternity with your maker.
Free Speech
Saying whatever you want to say has consequences. The source and nature of the consequences matter.
If you tell TSA you have a bomb they will likely detain you and not let you fly for a while. Seems reasonable.
If you say gender is not on a spectrum… you might be labeled and/or accused of hate speech (whatever that means).
What if you say things that are disagreeable to a certain group of people and get canceled for it?
Getting canceled by a group is a sign. A sign of profound weakness and insecurity. Being unwilling to have a debate about something could also be classified as extreme ego or laziness. In many cases you’ll know you’re right when the attacks become personal.
Allowing groups to control what you say is a steep glide path to the ground.
“Walk softly and carry a big stick.” - T. Roosevelt
The rest of your freedoms count on it.
Not Sorry
When someone is offended, do you apologize?
An automatic sorry can be a lazy response. Many people are looking for ways to be offended. Especially by a rich white guy.
When you’re a prideful jerk, say you're sorry. Be kind.
On the other hand… don’t placate someone against your core value structure. It’s disingenuous and unloving.
Here is a useful filter to apply to what you’ve said:
Was my pride a factor?
Did I violate my values?
Hate AI?
If robots are taking money out of your pocket don’t stand still and don’t complain.
The world is changing and in the big picture it’s nothing new.
Companies are leveraging robots to improve the bottom line. They follow protocol precisely and work around the clock. They don’t complain, make fewer mistakes, and don’t ask for PTO.
If you own a burger joint and you got sued because someone burned themselves in the hot grease you have a decision to make. Fool me once.
You can fight robots all you want but going on strike is a waste of energy.
If robots can do it better, let them.
Negative Feelings
We all have negative feelings.
The normal reaction is to avoid them by suppressing, ignoring, or numbing.
People say “just let it go” but the feelings come sneaking back every time.
So now what?
A good step is to evaluate what’s up stream. The feelings are typically a result of a circumstance. But more importantly, your perspective.
Maybe a better approach is to take a closer look at the outcome you expect. Does the pain come from a beloved result you are overly attached to?
Letting go of your emotions is fragile.
Letting go of your cherished outcome is durable.
Safety First
Is safety supposed to be first? Should it always be the priority?
When was the last time you were afraid?
When was the last time you actively chose to do something that might harm you?
Subjecting yourself to fear, even if calculated, is a valuable tool to keep things in perspective. The world is full of comfort and even more full of noise.
Nothing narrows your focus, gets your attention, or forces the present moment on you more thoroughly than a little danger.
Safety is important and there are many things out there that will produce valuable cognitive benefits without risking your life.
Next time something scares you in business… remember, you’re not going to die from it.
Pro Tip: Avoid things that can kill you because someone else isn’t paying attention.
Nice Guy
I think we are all nice people, nice as long as the circumstances are copacetic.
If this is true, and the goal is to be nice you would do your best to avoid circumstances that threaten your nice environment… that way you can keep your niceness sharp.
Should “nice” be the goal?
Not sure being known as a “nice guy” is that useful.
If I’m being attacked and I know you’re a nice person I would probably not ask for your help. I would look for someone with an edge and a healthy dose of agency. Someone who doesn’t go along to get along. Someone who has clear boundaries, a firm handshake, and believes in absolute truth.
If things hit the fan you’ll call the man’s man every time. Nice guys are hard to trust.
Attribution
When things are rockin along it’s hard to think about attribution.
Why are things going well? Giving yourself credit is a natural move and a thin view of reality.
If something is selling like crazy you’re brilliant… end of story (at least your version.)
Always look for the why behind success beyond the surface. Don’t allow curiosity to fade when you’re doing well or your success will likely evaporate.
Warning: Don’t confuse correlation with cause.
PS: Thanks for reading and all your replies, I LOVE the interaction. For the record, this blog only goes to my friends and if you reply it comes straight to my inbox. I value your opinion and anytime I’m off base lmk. Honest feedback… negative or positive is a gift :)
Bad Stuff Happens
Why are we surprised when bad things happen to good people? The hero’s journey portrays the protagonist in a struggle, discovers a guide, and has success in the end. Most stories follow this arc. When things don’t go as they “ought to,” we get frustrated.
I worked hard and did it with integrity… why is it failing?
I eat clean, exercise and I’m still sick? What gives?
I’m kind to my neighbor, why am I being attacked?
We are also surprised when good things happen to dirtbags. They cheated the system and doubled their profit!
Trying to make sense of why things happen that don’t reconcile is a waste.
We are not meant to fully understand God’s ways.
Emotional Decisions
It’s easy to make an emotional decision. My guess is most of them don’t turn out that great. Allowing your emotions to decide is a quicker path than actually thinking.
Thinking through things takes effort and awareness. Awareness of the difference between emotion and logic.
Emotions play a part but the “golden gut” will bite you if you don’t employ logic.
If you’ve made your share of mistakes you should be able to extract a good decision through a balance of emotion and logic.
For those of you who want to make the perfect decision… not deciding IS a decision.
Speak Your Mind
Our minds are full of thought. We are told to speak our minds, find our voice, or be authentic. Seems like good advice.
It gets tricky when people are involved. Swayed by resentments, bias observations, or any number of unchecked emotions cause serious deviations from reality.
Speaking “our truth” is rarely “the truth.”
Don’t lie, but also don’t say everything you think.
The Grass is Greener
I often think I’m in the wrong business when I see some other model making money hand over fist with such ease.
Some days the grass is greener everywhere I look. Did I go down the wrong path? Why does this have to be so hard? Did I wait too long to pivot?
Comparing your uphill slugfest with their season of success is short-sided at best. It’s no different than comparing your worst day at the office to someone’s success on IG.
Don’t forget… it’s the sh*t that makes the grass green.
Use it Or…
Anyone over thirty knows that if you don’t use it, you lose it. A micro example is when you sit at your desk for a few hours and then stand up suddenly. Things are a little stiff from not moving. A macro example is when a neighborhood kid challenges you to a foot race. What could go wrong?
Your body starts to break down and there is nothing you can do to stop it. So why bother? Most sedentary behavior stems from this type of mindset. The result is not being able to wrestle with your grandkids.
Yeah but I don’t have time, I’m not flexible, my knee, my back, my…
Excuses will keep you from being ready.
We all have limitations and dancing with them is the key to reducing the delta. The delta between not using it and losing it.
God gave you mind and body.
Disrespecting the gift will cost you.
Stereotypical
As humans, we put people in categories so we can move on to more important things. That’s why stereotypes are prevalent. The problem is they always have a spec of truth in them. Add a dose of confirmation bias and you are cruising downwind towards folly. The breeze becomes a tornado.
The woman walking down the street clutches her purse when a young tattooed dude walks by. Why? Safety, common sense, fear, stereotypes?
The challenge is we don’t have all the information and we largely don’t want it. We don’t want it because it would take far too much effort to get to the bottom of something that is only marginally important. At least from our POV.
Stereotypes are lazy and convenient. Perhaps the better choice is to give the benefit of the doubt. The truth is complex and if you dismantle every stereotype you have it would take you out of the game.
The point is to know that they are a short cut and often short circuit reality.
Sometimes reality is more beautiful than you think.
Legacy
I don’t think leaving a financial legacy should be the goal. Working hard and leaving something to your grandkids is cool but that’s about it.
Do you know your great-great-great-grandfather’s full name? Doubtful.
In the end, you’re gonna die and will be forgotten. If you leave a big pile of money behind, it will eventually end up in a stranger’s hands. What good is that?
All your hard work is either multiplied or wasted.
Why not give most away with a warm hand now instead of a cold hand later?
Hat tip to D. Gibson and Papaw Sleepy.
Lies
When you find yourself hiding things let it be a warning light.
Spending time concealing, covering up your trail, or distracting is a reason to pause and think. Ask yourself:
Why am I hiding?
Who am I hiding “x” from?
How can I make it right?
Big lies will crush you and little lies will steal your peace. We’re all liars to some degree.
Sometimes the lies slip out without intention and have to be reeled back. Sometimes we leave things out to get an edge. The key is to keep short accounts and avoid the accruing effect. Rationalizations are a slippery slope that will set you back.
Owning the slip-ups improves your character.
And don’t forget… If you’re not exposed on earth you’ll surely be exposed when you meet your maker.
Workaholic [Lazy]
Isn’t hard work a good thing?
Maybe being a workaholic is actually a form of laziness? Going to work early and staying late seems noble. You’re bringing home the bacon… you’re providing for your family. Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do?
If you are working your butt off every waking hour how could that be lazy?
It’s lazy because the real work likely revolves around your relationships at home or your fitness.
Being a workaholic is easy.
Hard to Get
Why are things valuable? Diamonds have value because they are scarce-ish. What if we find them on the moon and bring space shuttles full back to Earth? What then? They are still beautiful, and strong, but are now common. Are they less valuable now?
The economics of price is pretty simple. If it’s scarce it will cost more. Look what COVID did.
The interesting revelation happens only when you get that scarce thing and realize it’s not that valuable after all.
Lean into what your soul deems valuable.
Just because you can’t get it doesn’t make it valuable… it just makes it hard to get.
Hat tip to Rogan…