Silent Treatment

When things don’t go your way and you’re hurt or disappointed it’s tempting to punish the other person with the cold shoulder.  

If we’re honest with ourselves it’s much easier to take the low road with the silent treatment.  It’s satisfying because it gives the illusion of control.  Maybe, just maybe they will come to you, hat-in-hand ready to take 100% ownership of everything they did to you.  You want them to make all the correct guesses as to why you’re pouting, how it must have made you feel, and say a million sorry’s. 

Pretty childish approach but understandable.  The silent treatment is a useful way to avoid looking at your own pile of 💩.  We all have our own piles and many times it’s your fault you’re triggered.  Why?  Because you haven’t been curious about the thing behind the thing. Why did that trigger me?  What pre-existing pain did that agitate?  

It’s scary to uncover some of those things and own them and learn from them. It’s much easier to act like it’s their fault for being insensitive to your invisible baggage. It’s a dysfunctional rescue-wish that will keep you stuck.

We’re all tempted to punish with silence…the question is…who is the one really suffering?