Increment
It’s been said we grossly overestimate what can be done in a year and grossly underestimate what can be done in 10.
Increment has no sizzle. The math behind moneyball points this out. It’s hard to choose the guy that has no flash… much less build a team of plain jane performers.
Base hits add up. They add up because you get on base. Over time, consistent action on a fixed scale outperforms.
Increment quietly wins.
Some Armpits Stink
Solving problems requires getting to the root. The root is camouflaged by the symptoms. Going on a witch hunt to assert blame pushes people into a corner and leaves no room for solutions.
The root is hard to see because the domino of ancillary outcomes can hide it.
If we stink we think it’s because we’re sweating so we use antiperspirants.
Perspiring is an outcome… an outcome of the body trying to stay cool. If you consume alcohol, bbq, cheese enchiladas, and bacon, don’t blame the sweat.
Stay curious about the root.
Clear Path
Finding clarity is relieving. Who likes confusion? Knowing where you’re going and what path to take is only half the battle. The other half is choosing the right destination. A clear path might not be a good trade.
Don't end up settling for a clear path to a lesser goal.
Stuck to Unstuck
When you’re stuck it’s often time to ask. Asking is vulnerable when your mind is in neutral and the only options you’re able to see are undesirable. Leaning on yourself to get unstuck is the slow way.
You likely know a visionary that can help. Call them up, give them a little background on the options you don't like and ask:
Will you give me a few new options using your fresh perspective?
When you’re out of options ask a visionary.
She will likely have a half dozen options and one of them will help.
“I’ll Try”
“I’ll try” is a sign that they aren’t committed. It’s often a less courageous way to say you’re not interested. Less courageous because in many cases, the person has almost no drive to take action unless it’s easy.
The other kind of “try” is hooked to experimentation or adventure. “I’ll give it a try” suggests an open mind and willingness to explore.
The first try is the safest. The 2nd try is where the growth hides.
You’ll never know until you try.
Buzz Words
How do certain words get popular? They move from rarely used to ubiquitous in a flash.
As humans we want acceptance, we want to be perceived as valuable. Words are a powerful tool to get us there. Deep down we know that we are often judged by our vocabulary and how we describe our version of the world.
Buzz words give us a shortcut to acceptance?
Pro Tip: Avoid using them to increase status because it will only impress the wrong people.
But It Itches…
In search for “better”, the natural response is “more”. More is connected to improvement… More of a good thing at first glance seems like a reasonable aspiration. If I had a little more scratch maybe I wouldn’t itch so much.
It turns out more isn’t better but better is better. Better will likely drown by adding more.
Pro Tip: When things aren’t adding up… start subtracting
Man - VS - Dog
There is a paradox of power. Some dogs are alpha and some need to be treated as such. It’s common to see someone be walked by their dog. The harder they pull back the harder the dog charges forward.
It’s a miserable arrangement full of tension and strain. Strain that can be eliminated with properly timed power. A dog trainer solves the paradox by giving a quick correction and then letting the leash go slack.
The power is in the slack. It gives the dog a feeling of power. A feeling that a relaxed walk around the block was his idea.
Go walk your dog :)
Rule of Thumb
Some people get a little antsy about them because they aren’t accurate. The literalist will struggle with a rule of thumb because it’s a general specification not a perfected specification.
It turns out they are right. Judging a rule of thumb with a critical magnifying glass misses the value.
Momentum is the reward for trading exactness for rules of thumb.
They are never perfect but very useful… useful because they keep you moving.
Expect
How’s it going?
“I’ve got no complaints.”
It’s a good answer as long as expectations are in check. If expectations are low, satisfaction’s fruit also hangs low.
If satisfaction is the goal and low expectations are the means, then outcomes will be far from stellar. Be careful what you expect.
Overwhelm
It’s caused by two main things
1. Looking at a million things in one big blob
The problem with the blob is that it isn’t manageable. It’s too abstract. The flip side is getting too detailed in search of “perfect” knowing the blob has you surrounded.
2. Focusing on things out of your control.
If we focus on what is beyond our control the law of attraction applies. We just feel more out of control. Anxiety spikes and we get stuck.
Gut Check
Trust your gut “they” say. It turns out your gut isn't always that helpful in making a decision. We’ve all trusted our gut and ended up regretting it.
So why do “they” say trust your gut?
Because “they” are the ones that have been there a million times. Trusting your gut in a new situation is mostly unhelpful.
I’ve walked through at least 5,000 houses. By now my gut is pretty dependable and can be trusted. Be patient and allow the accrued experience to support your gut.
PS: I was over 100k off last year on my budgets spread over 80 homes. Trust your gut to a point.
How ‘Bout Them Apples?
One of my mentors described our lids as a fruit tree. Many times we produce beautiful fruit. Attractive fruit. Fruit that we can be proud of.
Other times our fruit doesn't seem to cooperate. We polish, clean, and mix it in with good fruit hoping it will get better. But it doesn't. It doesn't because it's too late.
The produce is the final product built on the inputs in the soil. The fruit of your life are a direct result of the nutrients. It turns out the nutrients are delivered much earlier in the timeline.
Pro Tip: Yelling at your fruit is a waste....If you don't like the fruit till the soil.
Attention
Attention can be a teacher. There are people in our lives we admire. People who are generous givers, money-making executors, and spiritual giants.
When we admire them from afar we wonder what makes them so. We study their actions, we deconstruct their routines, we try to peel back the curtain to discover the “how.”
But maybe… just maybe we should be asking, “what?” What was their intention?
Top performers fuse attention with intention. Taking action for action’s sake will only get you action… Action that often falls short of solid outcomes.
Pay attention to what has their attention… it will often lead to why they’re so admirable.
What Do You Want?
Ruminating on the things we don’t want seems productive. We strive to avoid pain through rolling through the list of things to avoid. It turns out this list is infinite.
We don’t want to run out of energy
We don’t want to get hurt
We don’t want to look stupid
We don’t want to be alone
We don’t want to rock the boat
We don’t want to be told “no”
We don't want to ______
Making a list of what we don’t want would take all day.
It turns out, making a list of what we DO want is harder. It’s harder because it’s vulnerable and courageous… because you might not get it.
Do You Like Me?
Who doesn’t want to be admired? Being around people that don’t like you is no fun.
We do all sorts of monkey business to get others to like us.
Most of it’s a waste. A waste because we are peacocking around to show others our cool feathers instead of pointing out how cool THEIR feathers are.
Want to be likeable?
Remember this: Your likeability is directly correlated with how people feel about themselves when they’re around you.
Truth and Love
There’s a relationship between the two.
Truth without love can be brutal. Brutal in that it’s harsh. It doesn’t change the truth but the way it’s delivered matters relationally.
Love without truth can be a bunch of sentimental fluff. It doesn’t change the intention of love but is it really love?
For some, it can be scary to deliver truth.
For best results… gently combine the two.
Law of Attraction
It’s the notion that positive or negative thoughts bring positive or negative experiences into a person’s life.
Negative type people think this is silly. For them, it’s true.
Imagine carrying a large wedding cake down a spiral staircase. You have two main thought choices:
I hope I don’t fall or stumble
Stay calm and balanced
Which thought is more helpful? The brain science says our minds are unable to compute “don’t” ...it just hears “fall or stumble”… and it will often obey.
Our quality of life is deeply impacted by our thoughts. If you focus on what you don’t want, you’ll get more of it.
Pro Tip: Be careful who you spend your time with… +/- energy is contagious…
They Don’t Get It
When someone isn’t “getting it” we tend to say the same thing, but a little louder.
Your hope is they didn’t hear you… surely that’s it.
Surely what you’re saying makes sense and you’re talking to a dummy that doesn’t “get it”.
Frustration mounts and the explanatory volume rises. In your mind, you’re judging the listener. The tapes in your head tell you they must be dumb.
It's worth noticing the feedback loop so your communication skills improve. If someone isn’t “getting it,” it might be on you.
Maybe a more useful approach is to judge communication efficacy on the responses we get.
Need Some Help…
When you ask someone for help and they end up making a mess of things… one of two things is likely going on.
They don’t really want to help ( think teenage kids…)
They didn’t understand the request...even though you made yourself “perfectly clear”
The outcome is fuzzy… fuzzy with less than optimal results.
Parting Thought: Maybe your bid for help was fuzzy. People can’t read your mind.