Work on Purpose
It feels good when you work hard on something and it pays off.
The sobering moment arrives when you realize the effort it will take to maintain. Are the results worth the continued effort? If it isn’t, leave it or pass it on.
Seasons of hard work are an investment. An investment in something that might be worth maintaining. If you’re looking to make your mark, consider exploring through hard work.
You may stumble upon your purpose.
Hell is Easy
When I see a young business guy hit it out of the park on his first deal, I get a little nervous. The two parts that worry me are:
1. What people say
2. What he believes about what people say
People say all kinds of things. Things that are helpful, neutral, and unhelpful. Generally the intention is to be helpful but the outcome is mostly unhelpful. Unhelpful because the young businessman devours the respect and admiration. Admiration for his “ability” to knock it out of the park…in the first game.
The problem with smooth success is growth happens in adversity not ease. When people celebrate, admire, and marvel at his home run, he might believe his own press. Sometimes I think hell would be a lot like this. Imagine a place of ease. A place where you never feel the pain of the climb. A place with no true joy. If you want it… it’s yours. You don’t have to work to get it, you don’t have to practice, and you never fail. You only win…every game.
The good news is the young businessman will feel the unrelenting heat of adversity…
Eventually.
Eventually he will learn that adversity is required to feel the true joy of accomplishment.
Soul Food
Convenience is a priority for most of us. We’re willing to compromise a variety of internal and external outcomes.
Fast, processed, mass produced, food is not usually good for your body. The drive-thru is convenient. The microwave is quick. It saves time and it’s cheap, two external wins.
A sit down farm to table restaurant takes an hour and costs more money… cooking at home takes energy, focus, and creativity… it’s why McDonald’s sales were 20 billion last year.
Fast - Cheap - Convenient. Most of the sales happen in the middle of the grocery store. The edges of the store require thought. Betty Crocker made it too easy on the consumer sales plummeted with their “just add water” cake mix. Why?
Because they crossed a cultural line. It turns out we want to add an egg. Our egg. We want the satisfaction of feeling like we’re cooking. We want to crack the egg and stir a little.
Is it a rebellion against the machine or is it something in our soul? The soul that knows expending energy, taking a little time, and being creative brings more joy and health to our lives.
Give the edge of the store a chance.
Your soul might like it.
Marketing
“Done for you” marketing doesn’t pan out most of the time. It’s a little like hiring out your sex life. Allowing someone else to make all the moves, moves that are one size fits all. Moves that were designed to satisfy the average someone.
Marketing is intimate… designed for YOUR someone. Your someone that deserves respect. More respect than an auto-post or template can give.
If you want to satisfy, the connection better come straight from you. Your customer or lover knows the difference.
ASS-U-ME
Making a judgement on someone’s motives is a natural move. Cats meow, dogs bark, and people judge.
As we know, the people who are most sensitive to being judged are often the judgiest. It’s hard wired in us to judge. It keeps us safe. It keeps us from pain but can also cause it. Especially in the emotional realm.
Assuming why they did it is like a slippery boat ramp. Slippery because it perpetuates misunderstanding.
Understanding requires an open stance towards the other. If we’ve predetermined motive without checking in, resentment builds. Resentment builds right into anger. Anger follows us like a hungry dog.
So then what? We “have to” forgive. Forgive an offense that was likely fabricated in our own mind. Hence the old ass-u-me axiom.
Culture 2nd
I think it was Drucker that said culture eats strategy for breakfast. Healthy culture in a business is key for longevity and growth. People don’t really quit their job. They quit their boss… they quit their culture.
Culture is super easy to see when it’s hitting the fan. Pressure to deliver, pressure to win, pressure to solve is in every business. How does the boss react? Does he blame, get irrational, do people run for cover? Since people default to survival and surviving causes people to do irrational things, there must be structure.
Structure is the linchpin to a dependable culture. Healthy structure creates boundaries so we have each other's backs instead of biting them. Letting things get a little messy inside a good structure is healthy. Allowing things to get passionate and tense energizes progress.
A culture that prioritizes harmony over solving behaves like a church youth group… not a business.
Let's Dance
“My parents never fought growing up.”
As if it’s a badge of honor in marriage. Is that healthy? Is it the goal to not get emotional? While it’s true that non-emotion gives space for logic, (kind of important when designing a jet engine) it’s unsustainable in relationships. Unsustainable because we need real connection and real connection requires us to care. Acting like we don’t care or putting a silver lining on every situation is denial.
Reality will always hunt us down.
Some people claim to be unemotional which is denial. There is a difference between claiming no emotion and not having access. Access to and a healthy awareness of emotion is the path to getting unstuck.
This leaves us with two choices:
Deny or Dance.
¿Move on?
When to “move on” is hard to determine. You’ve invested your heart and soul into the project, and the outcomes are less than optimal. Battling with when to quit causes cognitive dissonance.
The pain is temporary and quitting is forever “they say”. Never give up “they say”.
Who wants to be “that guy”? “That guy” “they say” that couldn’t hack it.
The combination of what “they” will think combined with your own sunk costs bias can be brutal.
In the midst of the storm ask yourself this question:
If I had the choice to start a project like this, knowing what I know presently, would I pull the trigger?
All
Searching for patterns is a skill worth learning. Some see them easier than the rest of us. Patterns help us ask the right questions. Questions that help solve problems.
Patterns point to the rhythm. Rhythm is good if the song fits. The question is… does the song fit? Is it a song at all? Focusing on a few notes hides the pattern.
Allow the space to see if there is a pattern.
Then ask: Do I like the sound of the music?
Does it help others?
Is the rhythm clearing the path or blocking it?
Asking questions about individual notes hides the solution and derails the groove.
The Groove
Searching for patterns is a skill worth learning. Some see them easier than the rest of us. Patterns help us ask the right questions. Questions that help solve problems.
Patterns point to the rhythm. Rhythm is good if the song fits. The question is… does the song fit? Is it a song at all? Focusing on a few notes hides the pattern.
Allow the space to see if there is a pattern.
Then ask: Do I like the sound of the music?
Does it help others?
Is the rhythm clearing the path or blocking it?
Asking questions about individual notes hides the solution and derails the groove.
Income
There are all sorts of ways to make money. Hourly, transactionally, and passively.
Passively is by far the hardest unless Granny has land with gas royalties.
Hourly is the easiest. Easiest because you show up, do the work and get paid.
Transactionally is tricky because once you close a deal you’re unemployed until the next deal shows up. (Like flipping houses)
Some solve this by creating a business. A business is a system for generating transactions. Transactions are the lifeblood. If the system falters you’re out of business. Building a profitable business has a high failure rate but creates tremendous wealth if you can pull it off.
Building a business that pays you when you’re asleep or on vacation just means your system is awesome. Awesome because the transactions happen in a more automatic way.
(By the way, buying a franchise makes you a high paid manager... If you’re willing to give up margin, buy a franchise...in a few cases, you can make a pile.)
Building it from scratch is super hard. If it wasn’t everyone would do it.
Says Who?
When you get angry and say things you don’t mean… just know it’s normal. It’s normal because controlling your tongue is a little like grasping the wind. The things that come out of your mouth are connected to your heart and mindset. Your heart because life has layers. Your mind because layers create beliefs.
When emotionally charged, we whisper, “don’t say it… don’t say it.” Then after a while… we “say it”. Saying it wasn’t what you wanted. Saying it is realizing for a second. The next time you blurt, take time to peel back the layers.
Take a look at your heart and mind. It’s the reason you said it.
Don't Feed The Lizard
The problem with anger is, our ability to use logic dissolves. Knowing this gives you an edge in life.
In a state of rage or fear, your body is in survival mode and the ability to think rationally is not accessible. Making decisions or solving happens in the frontal lobe of your brain. In a highly emotional state, your limbic system (lizard brain) is the boss. Not your rational self.
Your rational self doesn’t throw things or call people names.
Also...when someone is angry at you… it’s a warning signal. A signal that may not be about you at all. Give the person some space to cool off to regain access to their rational mind.
Telling someone to not get mad doesn’t help. They likely know they weren’t in their right mind. Pointing it out will only feed the lizard.
We're Out of Balance!
Your body seeks homeostasis. Everything about our being seeks balance and doesn’t want to be disrupted or lose control.
Being out of balance for a season can be good for growth. It causes laser focus and solving. The other side of this challenge can create a new brand of clarity. Burning the midnight oil to solve can be just the anecdote for getting over the hump.
Being thrown out of balance for a bit can help dislodge pesky patterns.
Ironically, there is a paradox worth mentioning. The law of diminishing returns applies. Letting off the gas to recover a bit while out of balance is important.
You don’t want the hump to turn into a wall.
I believe in you.
The Greatest Day
When something breaks, what happens? It’s worth noting that our world is winding down.
The body has a shelf life yet we fight to keep it going.
You say “damn it” when you cut your finger because now you have to recover. You do the steps: nurse, protect, and wait. Your finger may not be the same but you give it a chance.
We get the flu and we stay home to recover and protect others.
We tear our muscles in a workout and we take a break until the soreness subsides… or at least we should.
The universal truth is: things are breaking all around us. Bones, hearts, systems, societies. Maybe we should worry less about avoiding pain and more about recovery. Emotional recovery, physical recovery, economic recovery…
The constant “avoidance of pain” is a trap. Arguing with the pain causes more pain. Do everything in your power to make the waning world a better place and support recovery.
It’s the happiest operating system while we wait for the Greatest Day.
P.S. Click the link below to see some singers point to the Greatest Day.
Made me cry a little…
Common Current
When you’re trying to create something new, you’re going to feel a strong current. A current that will try to keep you going the same direction as everything else.
The current is common, and common is undeniably strong. So strong, most don’t even consider swimming against it.
The scariest part of the current is the hallway of haters. Haters that despise courage, that cringe at the uncommon or bold.
The second scariest part is what people will think when you hit an impasse and get sucked back into the common direction.
Creating a new thing requires resilience and strength. It turns out the muscles you need to get your creation into the world are built from “the last thing.”
“The last thing” that didn’t work.
You’ve got this!
Enthused
Confidence means you’ve had a little experience...just enough to know that the odds are in our favor. Confidence is about you and your inner structure.
Some have more than others.
Sometimes we lose it.
Enthusiasm is about others. Enthusiasm is contagious and can inspire. Enthusiasm comes from confidence and is contagious.
People need your confidence and enthusiasm is one of the best shipping methods.
When you’re running low on confidence spend time with the enthused ones. If you have plenty...don’t hoard your confidence with a stone face. Radiate through enthusiasm because when it’s real...it provides much-needed oxygen for the less confident.
The Bright Side
Looking at the bright side of everything causes misery. Having a truckload of silver linings to put on every dark cloud seems like a helpful move. But what about the storm she's in? Her reality is a blistering wind with sideways rain.
Telling her it all happens for a reason and the cup is half full is kinda mean. Mean because the reality is she’s wet and cold. Masking reality is not helpful.
True helpfulness is acknowledging the storm first. Acting like it’s only sunny slows progress because it isn’t true. Holding both positive and negative reality at the same time is where love lives.
Zoom Tips
New to the WFH Video Call scene?
I wrote a few tips for you :)
1. You don't have to wear pants
I love the button down and boxers combo but don't be too casual because then you just look lazy. Be "you" just without pants.
2. Show Your Face
Lighting matters. Don't sit with a big ole window behind you. A little thought about lighting will go a long way. You don't want to look like one of those blacked-out people from a witness protection interview.
3. Silencio!
Mute yourself when you're not talking. Nothing worse than hearing your dog with a squeaky toy.
4. Don't Eat
It's not a lunch meeting...you're not at a restaurant so skip the Nature Valley bar until after. No one wants to watch you manage the crumbs.
5. Don't look at you
When you're up and it's your time to talk, look at the camera so you aren't looking at you, looking at you. People will listen if you look at them.
6. Not your lap
Make sure you are framed properly. I know it's a laptop but set it on your desk. The angle is better and it will make you look sexier.
7. Alerts
If you are screen sharing turn off all your alerts. You don't want people to see how your spouse talks to you. Kill the ringer dingers on your phone too.
8. Be an actor
Act like you're paying attention. Nod your head and smile. You'll be tempted to read emails or check FB but if you do it to a "techy" meeting admin she'll know it. (I've been busted)
Long Play
Digging a well before you need water comes naturally to some and is hard for the rest of us. If we can stop grinding long enough to turn the lens for a wider view we’d see the need.
The small, consistent, daily activities have no flash. Flash is exciting, flash can be seen by “others” but the “others” have no interest in the boring daily micro-steps.
Steps that eventually create an overnight success.