Polite Convictions
I've found that convictions can dull over time. The edge, the clarity, and the blatant nature of convictions can get hazy.
Convictions are polite and usually soft in the conscious mind... waiting to be noticed.
If ignored or sidestepped, they will let you have your way. They will politely leave.
The origin and purpose of your convictions are worth your attention.
Pro Tip: Ignoring God won't turn out well. (I checked)
Safety Net
It's comforting to have a safety net. Swinging on the trapeze knowing the net will catch you allows you to take bolder risks.
Consider the free-style X-Gamer. Learning new tricks over concrete slows the progression. Concrete tends to cause the X-Gamer to think twice.
The invention of the foam pit changed everything. Safety produces confidence, confidence produces creativity, and creativity produces glory.
The glory of sticking the landing... The landing that requires practice.
It's worth finding a foam pit for your next creation.
Want To Be Partners?
More often than not, partnerships fail. They fail for one main reason:
Crossover.
There are two types of crossover to consider. Crossover in work ethic, moral compass, and mission is vital to assumed. When you discover you’re aligned with someone this way, it can be exciting. It turns out, as romantic as it may seem, a common worldview won’t cut it.
The other, more detrimental crossover is in hardwired work traits. If you both hate building spreadsheets, have little patience, and love to network, you’re toast.
It turns out that finding a partner should start with finding yourself. Spending time learning about yourself will reveal your blind spots.
Pro Tip: It’s likely wiser to offer employment to cover your blind spots than to “partner.”
Comparison
Comparing can be healthy if done correctly. Wanting what someone else has can motivate us to improve.
Wanting what someone else has can also cause pain. Comparison can give birth to two main outcomes:
Inspiration
Jealousy
People who are happy for others have a secure identity. An identity rooted in the keeper of their soul.
This view gives space to be inspired by your fellow man instead of wanting them to stumble
Anxious Much?
Anxiety feels miserable. We want control and when we lose our grip, anxiety settles in. Then, we numb.
Anxiety only lives in two places on our timeline. If you want to be miserable, focus on these two places:
Past → You’ll get → Anger/Sadness
Future → You’ll get → Fear/Anxiety
Believe it or not, anxiety is pretty easy to beat. Here’s the recipe:
Focus on the present
Find things you’re grateful for
Thank God for those things
Feel anxiety dissolve
Note: Your life mission is too important to be impacted by chronic anxiety.
Equality
Economic equality is a silly notion. It’s silly because effort isn’t equal. Neither is attitude, fortitude, or aptitude.
Instead of fighting for what’s “fair,” perhaps a better approach is to find a way to help others. Economic advantage is closely linked to making someone else’s life better.
It’s why Bezos and Musk have more money than we do.
Blocking Distraction
Distraction frustrates progress. It’s the opposite of traction. Traction is doing what you said you’d do. Anything that pulls you away from the project is a DIStraction.
It turns out that blocking off time is easier said than done.
“I’m going to block off 90 minutes to knock this out.”
The problem with this approach is that you don’t always have control of the finished product. Many times we depend on outside help to “finish” it.
Procrastination is the enemy of traction… Work on the things you can control instead of complaining about the things you can’t. Complaining is the disease, procrastination is the symptom, and traction is the medicine.
Pro Tip: Next time you feel distracted by something during a time block, don’t say “no,” say “not yet.”
Hustle
Hustle seems to be hardwired into some. For others, it comes in flashes. When hustle is present there is a flurry of activity. Things are pushed around, directions are changes, and decisions are being made.
Head down, eyes closed, can’t lose.
One of the most destructive forms of laziness is scatterbrained hustle. If you’re going to hustle, make sure it’s well placed with focused intention.
Ask yourself: What is the specific outcome I’m looking for?
Sometimes sitting still and thinking is a better brand of “hustle.”
Crazy Talk
People say crazy things. They say “crazy things” because their beliefs are miles from ours.
Surely they must be kidding.
Rolling your eyes in judgment and avoiding them is one way. Another option is to be more generative.
Changing someone’s mind can’t be done directly. It requires curiosity. Curiosity that outweighs your desire to correct the other person.
Pro Tip: If your line of questions is sincerely curious, their crazy thought will begin to make sense. Usually, their beliefs tie to something you both agree on.
Protesting
A screaming mob is boring. It’s boring because it’s a big, loud “what.”
If screaming and breaking things didn’t work, toddlers on the toy isle would be out of business.
“What” the mob believes isn’t nearly as important as the “reason” they believe. The reasons are interesting… the reasons are driven by their values.
Articulating values takes effort and thought… screaming is lazy.
Happy?
Are you happy? If so… what is making you happy? If you’re not happy, what’s the reason? Outside circumstances can affect your happiness. It can affect it temporarily or permanently.
The duration is up to you.
You might be tempted to think it’s tangible. If we could put happiness in a shopping cart there would be no un-happiness.
Perhaps happiness can be found in the hard work it takes to make your mark in the world.
Side note: Happiness and joy aren’t the same.
React
One of the easiest ways to tell who you are dealing with is to observe their actions. You can find out what’s important to them through their activity.
That’s the easy way.
But, what’s the BEST way? The best way is to observe their REACTIONS. How people react to negative reality is the most telling. It’s the most telling because people are calm when things are going well.
The real test of maturity is when things are burning down.
Before you team up… Make sure they can take the heat.
Arguing
It’s impossible to argue with a good listener. When someone says something inflammatory let that be your cue. Your cue to get curious.
Say…
“Tell me more.”
“What gives you that impression?”
Try repeating back what they said and adding to their point. Over time, they will often soften their extreme statement. Encourage the bloviation and listen for them to talk themselves off the ledge. The bloviator will love you for it.
If you want to cement someone’s extreme position… Argue with them.
Time to Confront
Confrontation is a tough notion… Especially when done in love.
When you see a friend going down the wrong path… a path that will do them harm, it’s worth confronting them. It takes a bit of bravery to love someone like this. It’s easier to mind your own business. The business of avoiding discomfort.
“What gives you the right to judge me?”
Answer: “I’m not judging you… I’m judging your actions… I love you too much to stand by in silence.”
Well, I Believe
Set beliefs are handy. Handy if they are the right ones. If they are the right ones, you can make quick decisions without much cognitive dissonance.
Beliefs can give you a filter to navigate the world. If you suspect a troublesome belief, ask yourself:
Does this belief serve me?
If it doesn’t, what belief would be more generative?
Beliefs can make or break you. If you’re struggling it’s worth taking inventory of your beliefs, then asking the questions.
Crystal Ball
The past can teach us quite a bit about what might happen next. If your dog wags his tail when you walk in the door, he will likely do the same tomorrow.
There is comfort in predictive behavior. Discomfort comes when there is change. Change that is misaligned with our predictions. The validity assigned to a prediction is directly tied to the level of stress we feel when we’re wrong. Overvaluing our crystal ball delivers anxiety.
Hold on to your hope for what’s around the corner… but loosen your grip. A tentative grip leaves room for faith.
It’s His Fault…
When it hits the fan it’s easy to think:
There he goes again…
If he would just…
Why won’t he…
If I want it done right, I’ll have to do it myself!
The energy used to blame is reserved for the “stuck”. The stuck are unwilling to take responsibility for their part.
Blaming will make you average and you're not average.
Feeling Stuck?
When there is a problem, the first move is to define it. Problems have a negative undesirable outcome and getting clear about what’s happened is vital to solving.
It’s worth noticing the sticking point in the process of solving. Solving is not rehashing what you don’t want. The number of things you don’t want is infinite.
The list of things you do want is short, but it takes a lot more effort. It’s harder because it’s vulnerable. It’s vulnerable because you might not solve it. It’s much safer to remain stuck.
Sheet 3
Take out 3 sheets of paper. Find a quiet spot. Create the context of 3 buckets in your mind: Health, Wealth, Relationships
Sheet 1: List all the things in your life that are working.
Sheet 2: List all the things in your life that are not working
Sheet 3: List all the changes you want to make to perpetuate Sheet 1 and minimize Sheet 2
Add action points to your calendar.
Pro Tip: Ruminating on the “uncontrollable” will cause you misery… I checked.
Moral Lines
Much like any business, the real estate sector has a million ways to cheat, fudge, omit, or mislead. The opporunity to get ahead while setting aside what is right is around every corner.
Everyone’s moral lines are different. As I age, I’ve noticed the world is not as binary as I once thought. Next time you’re faced with a moral dilemma, ask yourself 2 questions…
How would I want to be treated?
Will I regret doing the right thing?
Pro Tip: There is great value in pre-deciding moral lines before you’re faced with the choice.
MG: I Thess 3:13