Bad Driver
Hesitation can kill you.
Next time you watch a funny video of someone getting hurt, see if you can notice the slight hesitation. Sometimes it’s obvious and other times it’s invisible. Second guessing is risky, even if it’s floating through your subconscious mind.
Once you decide to take the plunge… Take it without a stutter step.
Slowing down before changing lanes is a good way to get it in the tailpipe.
Breaking Bad
Opportunity cost is the loss of potential gain from other alternatives when one alternative is chosen. The loss of potential gain as it relates to how you spend time is worth your attention.
Here’s some “time” math (annualized):
Being an avg Football Fan - 184 hrs
Pilots License - 75 hrs
Golf 1x/wk - 208 hrs
Tennis 1x/wk - 78 hrs
Training for Ironman - 250 hrs
Prospecting, 30 min/day - 130 hrs
Meditation/Prayer - 120 hrs
Breaking Bad - 62 hrs
Social Media, 45 min/day - 273 hrs
RE License - 180 hrs
Sports Center - 180 hrs
Daily Thank You Notes - 30 hrs
Weekly Podcast - 208 hrs
We all have the same amount of time and how we spend it directly impacts this life and the next.
Pro Tip: Time-sucks are all around us…don’t suck because of them.
Striking Distance
Five years ago, I was in incredible shape. As an elite-level cyclist, I rode the razor’s edge. Utilizing strict training blocks to prepare for the next race. It became a lifestyle of discipline and sacrifice.
Now I ride my bike for fun. Keeping my heart rate in Zone 2 and enjoying the ride. The razor’s edge has a big price tag of time and suffering.
Riding the razor’s edge is healthy in doses. Trying to stay on it in perpetuity is damaging.
Perhaps the better play is to enjoy yourself and be within striking distance of anything that requires an unsustainable amount of effort.
You Let Me Down
Being disappointed is often self-imposed. As the world turns, the people around us will let us down.
It’s worth noticing the frequency of your disappointment. If it’s high or there’s a pattern the onus is likely on you.
It’s on you because you’re hoping people will read your mind and deliver. Deliver juuuuuust what you expected.
Lazy communication or fear of rejection will imprison your happiness and pave the way to a depressive state.
Perfectionism
I’m not ready to show it to the world.
I’m not ready because it’s not perfect. I know it won’t ever be totally perfect, but it’s not good enough to present it to the crowd. The crowd that will judge my work. The crowd that might reject anything less than perfection.
So instead, I keep it in the shadows where comfort and safety are promised.
Hidden on a shelf to collect dust…right next to bravery.
Polite Convictions
I've found that convictions can dull over time. The edge, the clarity, and the blatant nature of convictions can get hazy.
Convictions are polite and usually soft in the conscious mind... waiting to be noticed.
If ignored or sidestepped, they will let you have your way. They will politely leave.
The origin and purpose of your convictions are worth your attention.
Pro Tip: Ignoring God won't turn out well. (I checked)
Safety Net
It's comforting to have a safety net. Swinging on the trapeze knowing the net will catch you allows you to take bolder risks.
Consider the free-style X-Gamer. Learning new tricks over concrete slows the progression. Concrete tends to cause the X-Gamer to think twice.
The invention of the foam pit changed everything. Safety produces confidence, confidence produces creativity, and creativity produces glory.
The glory of sticking the landing... The landing that requires practice.
It's worth finding a foam pit for your next creation.
Want To Be Partners?
More often than not, partnerships fail. They fail for one main reason:
Crossover.
There are two types of crossover to consider. Crossover in work ethic, moral compass, and mission is vital to assumed. When you discover you’re aligned with someone this way, it can be exciting. It turns out, as romantic as it may seem, a common worldview won’t cut it.
The other, more detrimental crossover is in hardwired work traits. If you both hate building spreadsheets, have little patience, and love to network, you’re toast.
It turns out that finding a partner should start with finding yourself. Spending time learning about yourself will reveal your blind spots.
Pro Tip: It’s likely wiser to offer employment to cover your blind spots than to “partner.”
Comparison
Comparing can be healthy if done correctly. Wanting what someone else has can motivate us to improve.
Wanting what someone else has can also cause pain. Comparison can give birth to two main outcomes:
Inspiration
Jealousy
People who are happy for others have a secure identity. An identity rooted in the keeper of their soul.
This view gives space to be inspired by your fellow man instead of wanting them to stumble
Anxious Much?
Anxiety feels miserable. We want control and when we lose our grip, anxiety settles in. Then, we numb.
Anxiety only lives in two places on our timeline. If you want to be miserable, focus on these two places:
Past → You’ll get → Anger/Sadness
Future → You’ll get → Fear/Anxiety
Believe it or not, anxiety is pretty easy to beat. Here’s the recipe:
Focus on the present
Find things you’re grateful for
Thank God for those things
Feel anxiety dissolve
Note: Your life mission is too important to be impacted by chronic anxiety.
Equality
Economic equality is a silly notion. It’s silly because effort isn’t equal. Neither is attitude, fortitude, or aptitude.
Instead of fighting for what’s “fair,” perhaps a better approach is to find a way to help others. Economic advantage is closely linked to making someone else’s life better.
It’s why Bezos and Musk have more money than we do.
Blocking Distraction
Distraction frustrates progress. It’s the opposite of traction. Traction is doing what you said you’d do. Anything that pulls you away from the project is a DIStraction.
It turns out that blocking off time is easier said than done.
“I’m going to block off 90 minutes to knock this out.”
The problem with this approach is that you don’t always have control of the finished product. Many times we depend on outside help to “finish” it.
Procrastination is the enemy of traction… Work on the things you can control instead of complaining about the things you can’t. Complaining is the disease, procrastination is the symptom, and traction is the medicine.
Pro Tip: Next time you feel distracted by something during a time block, don’t say “no,” say “not yet.”
Hustle
Hustle seems to be hardwired into some. For others, it comes in flashes. When hustle is present there is a flurry of activity. Things are pushed around, directions are changes, and decisions are being made.
Head down, eyes closed, can’t lose.
One of the most destructive forms of laziness is scatterbrained hustle. If you’re going to hustle, make sure it’s well placed with focused intention.
Ask yourself: What is the specific outcome I’m looking for?
Sometimes sitting still and thinking is a better brand of “hustle.”
Crazy Talk
People say crazy things. They say “crazy things” because their beliefs are miles from ours.
Surely they must be kidding.
Rolling your eyes in judgment and avoiding them is one way. Another option is to be more generative.
Changing someone’s mind can’t be done directly. It requires curiosity. Curiosity that outweighs your desire to correct the other person.
Pro Tip: If your line of questions is sincerely curious, their crazy thought will begin to make sense. Usually, their beliefs tie to something you both agree on.
Protesting
A screaming mob is boring. It’s boring because it’s a big, loud “what.”
If screaming and breaking things didn’t work, toddlers on the toy isle would be out of business.
“What” the mob believes isn’t nearly as important as the “reason” they believe. The reasons are interesting… the reasons are driven by their values.
Articulating values takes effort and thought… screaming is lazy.
Happy?
Are you happy? If so… what is making you happy? If you’re not happy, what’s the reason? Outside circumstances can affect your happiness. It can affect it temporarily or permanently.
The duration is up to you.
You might be tempted to think it’s tangible. If we could put happiness in a shopping cart there would be no un-happiness.
Perhaps happiness can be found in the hard work it takes to make your mark in the world.
Side note: Happiness and joy aren’t the same.
React
One of the easiest ways to tell who you are dealing with is to observe their actions. You can find out what’s important to them through their activity.
That’s the easy way.
But, what’s the BEST way? The best way is to observe their REACTIONS. How people react to negative reality is the most telling. It’s the most telling because people are calm when things are going well.
The real test of maturity is when things are burning down.
Before you team up… Make sure they can take the heat.
Arguing
It’s impossible to argue with a good listener. When someone says something inflammatory let that be your cue. Your cue to get curious.
Say…
“Tell me more.”
“What gives you that impression?”
Try repeating back what they said and adding to their point. Over time, they will often soften their extreme statement. Encourage the bloviation and listen for them to talk themselves off the ledge. The bloviator will love you for it.
If you want to cement someone’s extreme position… Argue with them.
Time to Confront
Confrontation is a tough notion… Especially when done in love.
When you see a friend going down the wrong path… a path that will do them harm, it’s worth confronting them. It takes a bit of bravery to love someone like this. It’s easier to mind your own business. The business of avoiding discomfort.
“What gives you the right to judge me?”
Answer: “I’m not judging you… I’m judging your actions… I love you too much to stand by in silence.”
Well, I Believe
Set beliefs are handy. Handy if they are the right ones. If they are the right ones, you can make quick decisions without much cognitive dissonance.
Beliefs can give you a filter to navigate the world. If you suspect a troublesome belief, ask yourself:
Does this belief serve me?
If it doesn’t, what belief would be more generative?
Beliefs can make or break you. If you’re struggling it’s worth taking inventory of your beliefs, then asking the questions.