Good Guilt
Guilt is a mechanism of our conscience. In a sick way it gets us
pretty far down the road.
There is good and bad guilt. Bad guilt is Triggered by owning someone else’s accusation
or anger. "I can't believe you…”, “what were you thinking…”, “I’m very disappointed in you…”
Bad guilt is owning someone else's standard.
Good gut is accurate. It’s accurate only when your conscience is based on a dependable standard. Timeless absolute truth is a good standard to build your conscience upon. (Bible)
Warning: Guilt and shame are not the same.
Guilt: I did bad.
Shame: I am bad.
Good guilt is a useful warning light to course correct.
Go make your mark!
Hangin’ with Turkeys?
Moving from where you are to where you want to go is filled with tactics. It’s filled with “what’s” and “how’s”.
“I want to earn a few million bucks.”
“How” am I going to do it and “what” is it going to take are good questions.
But... the most important question is “who” already has a few million bucks? Once you find them….ask how and what.
How did they get there and what were their behaviors? If their values line up with yours, become a student of them.
Once you find the “who,” find ways to add value to them. They will notice over time and teach you the what and how.
Caution:
If you hang out with “turkeys” you will no doubt learn their ways. You’ll begin to strut like them and mimic their gobbles and clucks.
It’s worth remembering....turkeys usually get roasted.
Flake
Struggling to keep your commitments? Commitments accrue through “yes”. Yes is such a positive word. It’s a word of relief, hope, vision, momentum, and progress.
Not much happens without a string of yes’s.
Our intention behind our “yes” is to move forward, to please, to be seen as a flake. A flake commits with good intention… and falls short when the time comes. Flakes almost never flake with malice in their heart. They flake because they aren't in touch with reality.
They aren't flaking “at you”. They are just having trouble being honest with themselves.
They're good people…and their follow-through is gonna be spotty.
Pro Tip: Love them where they are. Your expectation of them is on you.
Extremes
Extremes are fun but are unsustainable. They are unsustainable because they are extreme.
~ You want to drive a muscle car? Be prepared for a stiff ride and poor gas mileage.
~ You want a rock crawler jeep? Get ready for some serious road noise.
~ You want a truck that will pull a 5th wheel? Have fun parking it at the grocery store.
If you pride yourself on being super practical… experiment with extremes for a season. See how it feels. See what you learn. Perhaps it's time to loosen up and go to the edges. Disrupting logic and practicality might be eye opening.
Parting Thought: Bragging about a $6 shirt is the same as flashing a Rolex. Ego is ego.
Benchmark
When it’s obvious some improvements need to be made, where do you start? Is starting over the next step or does it only need a few tweaks?
The answer lies in the math. The math can determine the benchmark. The benchmark is based on what needs to be sold to be profitable.
Stepping back and looking at the macro picture is vital before making a bunch of changes. A bunch of changes can add up to a setback.
Three thoughts to consider:
If it looks bad from 30k feet, a reboot may be the best choice.
If things are hovering around the benchmark, make small adjustments only.
If performance is well above the benchmark, consider a price hike.
Pro Tip: Once the baby is clean, pull it out of the bathwater.
Wisdom vs Advice
Wisdom is all around us.
Advice is also all around us.
Advice comes quickly but wisdom requires looking. Advice usually comes without solicitation and usually doesn’t help. It’s mostly from those in the bleachers.
Wisdom is valuable because you have to ask for it. You have to want it… You have to find the right people. The people that have gone before us. The people that are in the arena… not spectators.
Spectators mostly judge, jeer, and offer opinions to those in the arena. Seek wisdom from the ones that are in the arena. Not the ones who order beer and watch.
Hoarder?
Staying in total control of the whole process will stifle growth. It seems faster to just do it yourself.
It’s faster when you hoard tasks because you don't have to depend on anyone to knock it out. You can slam dunk it in no time. Hoarding and delegating are at odds.
Delegating requires thought, clarity and patience. Hoarding is one dimensional and lazy. Nothing of any real substance happens without delegation. It’s inconvenient for a season but has exponential payoff.
If you want it to grow fast, do it yourself… If you want it to grow with meaning, invite others.
Go make your mark.
Same Amount of Time
Sometimes it's worth phasing things out of our lives. Time is valuable.
Think about all the ways we interact with time...
We:
Waste time
Save time
Carve time
Pass time
Collapse time
Spend time
Make time
Lose time
Find time
Have time
Sell time
Buy time
Borrow time
Free time
Use time
Everyone has the same amount of time.
It deserves our respect until we’re out.
Comedian’s Work!
The Process:
Come up w/ 10 jokes
Go to small venue
Test all 10 jokes
Pick the 2 that did the best
Eliminate the other 8
Come up with 8 new jokes
Go to small venue
Pick the best 2 out of 8
Eliminate the other 6
Come up with 6 new jokes
Go to small venue
Repeat…
Repeat until all 10 jokes are good.
Most people give up at the start when 80% of the jokes don't resonate. Test, eliminate, keep, repeat. Go make your mark!
Want To Make More $?
You have unique talents and your way of looking at the world is different than the people around you. This is your lever. It's your lever to earn more through clearing the path for someone else. Clearing the path for others is the secret to fulfillment.
It also pays dividends over time.
There are people in your life who are eager to make their mark. Find the active ones… The hungry ones… and use your God given lever.
Your lever won’t work everywhere but there are spots where it could change everything for someone else.
Over time, we discover that making our mark isn’t about us at all.
Carving Out Time
There is no need to carve out time. It’s already carved. We carve it every day.
The question worth pondering is: What do I do every day without fail?
Make a list...Look at that list.
These are the things that are most important. These are the things that are in the inner circle. The inner-circle requires the rest of “the things” to react. The time has been carved. Your ability to make your mark is directly tied to your list. Choose wisely.
My List:
Lemon water/coffee
Pray/Meditate/Bible
Write/Journal
Workout
Read/Listen
Deep Thinking/Work
DIY
What is romantic about doing it yourself? Is it the pride of completion? Is it all the money saved? Is it because our version is better than the hired version?
Hiring out tasks might backfire...so we think… “I’ll just do it myself.”
It’s more dependable, it’s more predictable and I know it will be done right. If time is more valuable than money is the DIY approach the wise choice?
Perhaps the real work is getting better at picking helpers. Picking the wrong helpers is expensive. Picking a helper to get on your bus, asking them to sit in a certain seat and expecting top performance takes experience.
Who’s fault is it when it doesn’t work? The picker or the helper?
It’s worth developing a good picker and trusting whom you’ve picked to advance the mission.
Duped By Diligence
Diligence over time is a solid approach, as long as it’s applied under the umbrella of a dynamic strategy. Applying the same tactical plan will likely give you consistent results.
The question worth asking is:
Are my current diligent behaviors producing the results I’m after?
Comfortable behaviors are a trap and can sabotage the success we seek. Diligence can be an obstacle if its activities aren’t questioned by the dynamic strategy set in place by the vision.
The dependable actions of the past might be the cause of stagnation. Seek out new extreme behaviors to “un-rut” yourself.
Go make your mark!
Control vs Courage
Showing your work to the world takes courage. Spending time trying to make it perfect is a waste. It’s a waste because there is no feedback loop. The loop is scary business because it’s vulnerable.
Trying to control the “sting” of the feedback is tempting. Leading questions are magically useless because they seek control instead of input.
Leading Question:
I’ve been working so hard on this project and I'm almost done… you wouldn’t change anything would you?
This creator doesn’t really want input. He wants to be finished. He doesn’t want to improve anything.
Open Question:
I value what you have to say on this project. What parts would you leave alone and what parts do you think need more thinking?
The second question is more open and can generate discussion.
If you want control more than input, smart people will leave you where they found you.
Keep Googling?
Is whiskey good for a cold? Is the world flat? Should you spank your kids? Should you invest in stocks? Should you get a divorce?
Google it and you’ll find the answer you’re after. It’s worth admitting the answer is laced with cognitive bias.
When our actions/thoughts disagree with our beliefs we tend to justify our choices. If we get negative feedback our knee jerk is to defend. This is dangerous because our internal narrative can blind us to the truth.
Many times we aren’t able to see our mistakes… much less own them. Seeing and owning are two of the hardest things about growth.
If you don’t feel like growing you can always justify your position if you google something long enough.
Customer’s Brain
Our brains are filters. Constantly scanning information, confirming two basic things.
There are no immediate threats.
The mind is clear enough to notice immediate threats.
Our minds sort information and naturally move on from confusing non-threatening things. What does this mean to a salesman? It means you’re competing for mental real estate.
Your customer’s brain is in filter mode and constantly being bombarded by messages...Your’s better be clear. If your message is too clever or filled with technobabble they won’t burn the mental calories to figure out your offer.
If your offer clearly shows how it can make their life better you’ll have a better chance of holding their attention.
Knock Knock
We were eating dinner the other night and someone knocked on the front door. We scolded the dogs a little and then took the next bite.
Aren’t you going to get the door, you ask?
Nope…
Why?
Answer: Probability
80% sure it was Amazon
19% sure it was a solicitor
1% sure it was one of you
10 years ago I would’ve hopped up to see who it was. These days I only hop up for 2nds.
Thankfully...going door-to-door will soon be a thing of the past.
Hero Hunter
Asking good questions to create a meaningful conversation is an art. People want to feel seen and understood. Everyone is the hero in their own story. Find out why they are the hero.
We all have the urge to show others why we are the hero which directly conflicts with their hero. When you slow down and find the superpowers of others...you will have an edge on the masses.
While the masses are busy displaying and posturing you are becoming a leader worth following. You’re worth following because people will trust you when they are the hero of their own story. The story you help them step into.
Accountability
Holding people and being held accountable is an exchange of trust. An unhealthy version takes convincing, prodding, and coaxing. This type of accountability is missing a proper reason. The reason is empty in the mind of the one being held accountable.
If there is no trust in the purpose it feels like an empty activity with no value. The deadline feels pointless. If you see an accountability breakdown, chances are the bigger picture of how it benefits them on the mission isn’t clear.
Healthy accountability is about trust. Trust that the action will have a meaningful impact.
Tru Dat
Things that are true can be false later. Things that are true can change like the weather. Things that are true can also be unshakeable and forever. The truth is hard to get to sometimes. Once you get to it, can it be absolute? IS there such a thing?
No matter what you believe, the absolute truth doesn’t need you to believe for it to be true.