Noticing

Part of getting to know yourself is noticing. More specifically, noticing what you notice. 

When you walk into a room full of people, there are the ones you pay attention to, and the ones you practically ignore. The ones that stand out and the ones who are seemingly invisible. Our minds do this automatically. Our brains love to sort. Sorting requires judging and judging might or might not be good. Your attention has to go somewhere. 

If you want to learn more about your motivations, be curious about what catches your eye and maybe more curious about what you ignore. 

Baby From Krypton

Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound. Look up in the sky! It’s a bird, it’s a plane, it’s Superman! 

Superman was an instant hit back in the 50s. It was a hit because people like to see superhuman things. Having superhuman abilities is a secret dream for most. The writers knew it would flop without one key element and it wasn’t his speed or power… it was his weakness. 

He was a meek, slightly nerdy reporter for a newspaper. If he was only strong and got all the girls, America would’ve gotten bored… Even when he left the phone booth, he was still vulnerable to kryptonite. 

Vulnerability is magnetic. It activates connection and trust. Respect your weakness. Never play like you don’t have any. Unless of course, you like playing alone.

Faster Horses

Market research takes a bit of effort. It seems simple: find your target audience, ask them what they need, and build out your offering. Companies use this model and promptly crash and burn. One of the reasons is the data collected isn’t dependable. 

People generally don’t know what they need… but they always have an answer to the question. There is no intent to mislead you but they often haven’t thought through it. If Henry Ford asked people what they needed they would have said faster horses. 

Ignoring the nuances is a mistake. 

The skill comes with reading between the lines and having a vision that sees the underlying need. Testing to see if it will fly before going all-in is the wise move. 

Pro Tip:  Just because you build it...doesn’t mean they will come.

Toxic Opinion

We all have opinions... 

Opinions based on history, facts, assumptions, and world view. It instantly gets dicey when opinions about others are held. 

Making assumptions about their underlying motive is a fool's errand. 

I stopped watching the news almost 20 years ago because I couldn’t figure out the difference between reality and opinion. Reality seemed to be relative instead of real. Sometimes independent judgment is more reliable. Reliable only if you acknowledge the importance of what you can’t see. Things omitted, hidden, unclear, or invisible are often vital pieces of the puzzle. 

Avoid the extreme edges because it forces you to ignore the whole picture. Solving the important problems requires us to admit we need each other to find what is real.

The Rules

I’m not a fan of rules and my persona hates the feeling of being controlled. Rules are meant to be broken right? Rules stifle freedom… They force you to conform. 

It’s worth learning which rules matter. Breaking rules or following them because they are “the rules” is lazy. Lazy because you are focused on the rule instead of the boundary it creates. 

If a musician breaks the rules of music, he’s booed off the stage. The rules of music create boundaries that contain infinite options to create. Economic rules of supply and demand will cause a business to sink or swim. 

Follow the rules, the right rules. The rules that support the boundaries that create the freedom to do what only you can. 

Go make your mark.

The Problem Is Clear

Words are important and so are their meanings. Using them to empathize with your customer will increase sales. Telling your customer all the reasons that you’re awesome makes you average. Average because it’s the norm. 

They must trust you and your answers before buying. The key to earning trust in the beginning are your words. Words that clarify their problem. 

People buy when they feel understood. If you can articulate the problem better than the customer they will almost automatically trust you have the answer.

We Care

When I hear “I don't care what people think” I get a little jittery because it’s hard to believe. 

Caring is important, but can be painful. The danger comes when the action is motivated by what people think. It has a way of cheapening the outcome. 

If you’re doing it for show, most people will know. 

Doing what is right or loving never requires you to wonder what people think. It allows you to be careless. It’s where freedom lives. 

That's a BAD Idea Craig!

When we feel challenged or questioned, the natural response is defensiveness. If our idea or position seems threatened, we protect. Standing up for yourself is a useful skill. The problem comes when we take the question personally. 

Separating the question or partitioning the challenge from yourself is hard work. It’s hard work because it feels, at first glance, to be personal.

“That’s a bad idea, Craig” 

Less mature ears may hear… 

“You’re bad Craig and you don’t know what you’re doing.” 

If you have pre-existing tapes playing in your head and you allow a challenge to validate the tapes you’ll end up in your lizard brain. The idea or position was challenged, not the personhood. 

If you’re easily offended it will cost you money and cause you pain.

Principle Paradox

Humans will always let each other down. Assuming malice can make it even more painful. 

If someone you look up to lets you down, it gets complicated. 

Separating good ideas from the human that falls short takes some maturity. Waiting for the perfect human to learn from will stunt your growth. 

You know the truth when you see it. You know a durable principle when you hear it, no matter the source. 

If you pay attention you’ll see, all leaders are hypocrites doing the best they can… including you.

Wolf Proof

Building important things or solving worthy problems requires good, raw materials. Sourcing good materials makes the project sturdy.

If you don’t, the wolf will huff and puff and you’ll have to start over.

Pull raw materials from people you trust. Input and an open stance is vital. Vital because we don’t know what we don’t know. 

Thinking you know it all will make you an easy target for the wolf.

Good Grief

When something bad happens, our instinct is to “move on”. Moving on can distance us from the pain. 

But doesn’t time heal all wounds? Yes, but only when you’ve acknowledged and properly grieved the loss. 

Moving on without grieving will bite you. Moving on too quickly doesn’t show respect for the loss. If you skip this step the pain won’t dissolve. It ends up staying in your body. It typically burps out in unexpected ways. Like mean words, blocked creativity, or illness. 

Grieving the loss of things you can't keep will free your mind to do what only you can.

Perpetual Fear

When we are afraid of something, we tend to put it off. 

Putting it off comforts us because it “might be” less scary later. So the fear grows and torments our mind. It rarely goes away but instead expands. 

Side stepping, deferring, or wishing it away validates the fear in our minds and makes it more scary. 

The brave and successful thing to do is take action...because action is the best cure.

Job +

Last year I had a business meeting at a restaurant. Table of seven on a busy day. The server did her job. Explained the menu, filled our glasses, and delivered the food. 

It’s what’s expected. There are a million places to eat. 

Why did I choose this one? Trust. 

I knew I could trust them to think. Think about not just the table and the food, but think about when and how. The server knew when to help and how to give us space. Thinking in the service industry is rare. 

When you find a thinker, give them your business.

Money Buys Happiness

It buys happiness everyday for people who are already happy. Money can buy sadness and pain too. It speeds up and enhances. It amplifies who you already are. It buys options. Options are tricky because there are happy ones and sad ones. There are wise ones and foolish ones. 

Wanting more money isn’t bad, you just need to understand the options and the consequences. If you have a wandering eye, hiding a mistress becomes an option. Giving more money to your church becomes an option. Taking a cool vacation becomes an option. 

Money CAN buy happiness, it just can’t create it.

Inspiration Is For Chumps

Inspiration is elusive.

So we wait, we wait because it feels good to be inspired. 

Things come easily. Time stands still and creativity flows. It feels euphoric and seemingly comes out of nowhere. It's worth remembering how you were last inspired. 

The next time you get into the zone, rewind a bit. Chances are you weren't “waiting” for creativity to come your way. Action is the lead domino to inspiration. Waiting to be inspired is mostly an excuse. 

Get to work and you will notice inspiration weave its way into your next creation.

Warehouse

It turns out our brains make pretty poor warehouses for ideas. 

Creating a proper receptacle for our ideas relieves the brain to move on to new ideas. New ideas are useful, especially when paired with your old ones. 

Creative brilliance is usually achieved by the pairing. Pairing is easier when they are pulled out of your brain and put on a whiteboard. 

Our brains are designed to have ideas not hold them.

A Tip For The Boys

Women want to be validated...

The question is, how do you validate something that seems ridiculous in your eyes?

If she has a deep concern that seems to be an illogical waste of emotion, how do you possibly agree? Agreeing in your eyes means you have to lie to yourself. Deny the truth. Deny logic. Deny the facts. (From your POV) 

We don’t want her to be in pain. We want to help her, but agreeing with her seems loco… 

Here's my pro tip boys: You don’t need to agree. They want validation not agreement. Validation says, “I hear you, I understand” and “that must be really hard.” Validation addresses her feelings around the topic. 

Set aside the topic (even if it’s about you) and validate. 

Defending yourself is lazy and will set you back… I checked.

Brick-Pack

Everyone walks around with a backpack full of bricks…

Bricks that are heavy, but not too heavy. Our backpacks have a brick limit and ideal capacity. 

Sometimes a friend has too many bricks that won't fit in their perfectly sized pack. Since the bricks won't fit, we step in to carry the burden for a bit. It's what we do as friends. 

Friends will also try to hand you bricks that belong in their pack. They know you'll take them because you're a helper. You’re strong… but maybe you’re weak. Weak because you can’t tell them no. 

Helpers say yes, helpers also forget the weight they’re already carrying. 

Eventually, the helper resents. 

The wise helper says NO to the bricks that aren’t theirs. That way they can carry bricks when others can't.

Fireman

Consider removing all decisions out of the first hour of your day. 

Most of us get fatigued throughout the day. We’re faced with so many options… (Starbucks has 80,000 drinks combinations.)

Positive, quiet, tech-free routines that don’t require a response will preserve your mind. Jumping right into a jungle of choices feels productive. Productive because you’ve put a dent in your inbox, you’ve caught up on the news, you’ve scrolled the feed. 

Neuroscience proves the cost is high... Clarity and productivity are far from reactionary. 

Running from fire to fire is for firemen. The world needs firemen, and chances are you're not one.

The Big Mo

Losing momentum can be unsettling. Without it, the excitement leaks, attitudes wobble, and fears surface. 

Will I ever get it again? Is the ride over? Do I have what it takes to get it back on track? Why do I feel like I’m always climbing?

Imagine a poorly designed roller coaster... You click-clack to the top, chop down, then back to a climb again. But wait… where’s the flow? Where are those fun banking turns that build speed? Climbs are no fun unless there is a payoff. 

Step back and look at your roller coaster from the highway. Does it look right? When you bomb a steep section is there a pay off? 

Solid hustle will get you momentum, but it will take good design to keep it.